Thursday, August 9, 2012

The naked man beach

Standing at Ermesinde train station with ample time to spare before the next train we decide to be a little adventurous and try out a new beach. In front of us stands a map showing all the possible beaches along the coast. After some deliberation we settle on Miramar...located in between two or three other beaches within walking distance so we figure if it's not great we will just move on. The train schedule is in our favor so we arrive within a half hour. At first glance I am kind if disappointed...the beach is full of large rocks, old people and families... Luckily there is a lovely boardwalk running along the beach so we start to walking. Old people and families start to diminish but the huge rocks remain. Finally, we spot an area with a clearing of water, a sandy beach and some rocks poking out around the clearing. We begin to explore the little pools, mussels and other ocean creatures in and around the rocks. During our exploration we find a little nook in the rocks, leaving us fully secluded from the three other people on the beach...perfect, private and beautiful...the day is turning out great. The sun is shinning the skin is burning ( well mine is T's is roasting to a perfect chocolate brown as I continue to morph into my usual tomato like state)... Now this is where our private, peaceful and beautiful day takes a dramatic and unexpected turn...picture this...T has just come out of the icy cold water and is walking towards our nook. His head turns to his right, my left and he none-challontly says "yup that man is fully naked". To my left I see a big bellied man with a very even tan all over... And I mean all over. Of course the initial reaction was to be appalled, embarrassed not sure for who... Myself or the naked man... He however seemed to have no qualms what so ever about his appearance, finished his freshening up and comfortably strutting, disappeared behind a rock. That was day one of beach two would prove to be even more eventful...
The following day despite my redness we decide to head back to our new found so called private beach...before heading out we purchase a beach umbrella because if my mother saw me lounging in the sun during peak hours, she would have me wrapped in layers of long sleeved clothing and under the largest tree or shady area she could find... And frankly, even though I say that I'm so used to burning that I don't really care anymore, a girl can only handle so much. So, umbrella in hand we arrive back at the old people and family beach and quickly walk along the boardwalk to our secret place...We soon realize that we were not the first discoverers of this small oasis as our nook is already occupied by someone's pants...we follow the rocks around to try and find another isolated location...settling on a more open space with only rocks to one side of us we set up camp, or at least try to. Just our luck, the newly bought umbrella is a dud... And not only that, the blue umbrella that we intended to purchase turned out to have boats and lighthouses and other childlike drawings of beach related images all over it... Cute... For a 10 year old girl... Or for one of those families happily building sand castles a hundred meters north of us... We have a good laugh which quickly turns into frustration when T realizes that the one stick that is supposed to hold up the other, has a broken lock...a few engineering techniques later we are blissfully resting on the beach avoiding further burning as I am being protected by our very shaky umbrella...looking around I spot a tanner...a man lets say in his early to mid 60s sitting in a rocky nook...another man walks by and props himself in another nook... Everything seems normal until both men decide that once they are in their allocated positions that they will with no hesitation take off their already revealing swimming suits and continue working on their perfectly even, no weird tan-line tans...after some contemplation T and I come up with the conclusion that even thought this is not a nude beach as we can clearly see by the people who choose not to sit by the rocks, that the rocks seem to be the perfect location for some sneaky naked tanning. At this point, the number of naked men has grown to at least 5. All of a sudden we are feeling like the odd ones out. How come those unflattering old men can have a perfect even tan and we get home to find ridiculously white skin beneath our swimmers? Plus I figured I'd attempt to balance the girl boy ratio and decided that tanning topless would be the only really appropriate thing to do... T quickly followed suit and before we knew it we had joined the naked men crew...all in all a very liberating experience... Definitely something to cross off the bucket list, and that I think everyone should add to theirs... Tan naked... In Portugal... For exact location details please don't hesitate to contact us.


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